the fuck is going on with his face
( x )
do you guys remember that one post about how men feel entitled to take up so much space and women have to deal with a lot less?
This is actually a documented thing. You always see men on the subway or tube or whatever using both armrests while women sit with their arms hunched together into their laps. That’s why I always make a point to take up at least one if not both armrests of the tube so men can be uncomfortable for once.
^ again, for all the people telling me posting this picture is complaining too much.
In my college classes (and high school too) guys were always stretching, sticking fists and elbows in my face, leaning their heads back over my desk, over my work, spreading their legs out, kicking my bag with their dirty shoes. And let’s not pretend they were in other guys’ space as much as they were in women’s.
It’s so true, this happens to me every day on the train. Same with the walking thing, women will weave out of the way whereas men just walk straight and plow down anything in their path. I always end up playing chicken with men on the sidewalk now, because I refuse to move out of their way.
I love playing chicken with dudes who hog the sidewalk. BODY CHECK! Fucking assholes.
“NOT ALL MEN ARE LIKE THIS!” FUCK OFF.
“AS A MAN, I THINK THAT…” FUCK OFF.
Men always have the same defensive bullshit to spout every time they get called out on their shit. AND IT IS BORING. They remind me of those toys where you pull a string an they have like 5 phrases they can say. Over and over and over.
same here with playing chicken, its hilarious sometimes because they get this flash of realization in their eyes that says ‘holy shit, she’s NOT going to move/??? what do????’ because THEY ARE SO USED TO EVERYONE MOVING FOR THEM
when i was younger my grandpa drew this on a piece of paper,
and he asked me how i, as the red circle, would get around the two people (black circles) if i was walking down the street.
so of course i came back with
moving out of the way for them as i walked.
he asked me if i thought men would do the same and, at the time, i did because i thought it was just common courtesy. but he told me that men would barrel straight through without giving a shit and that i should do the exact same. because i was the one walking and they were the ones in the way. so that’s exactly what i do.
i find this really fascinating because this actually what defines so-called masculine and feminine traits and gestures. the whole limp-wrist thing? that’s someone decreasing the amount of space they take up by not extending their arm fully. same with crossing one’s legs, how it’s considered more masculine to swing your shoulders when you walk creating a wider gait instead of your hips, how someone who holds their elbows tightly into their torso instead of letting them fall more loosely at their sides is considered feminine.
taking up space is not just a frequent habit of males in our culture, its actually how society thinks masculinity is supposed to be expressed.
This is my answer when people say eating disorders are personal problems and have nothing to do with sexism. Women literally socialized to take up as little space as possible all day every day.
I know I’ve reblogged this before, but I’d like to add that if someone starts to push into my personal bubble, I certainly push back. Bah
One time on the bus there was only one seat left next to this middle aged man who was obviously returning from his office job because he had one of those cliché briefcases. Anyway, his bag was half way on the remaining seat and I just sort of sat half on the seat, hoping he would take the hint and put his bag on his lap, seeing as he seemed like a pretty chivalrous guy.
Let’s just say my bus ride was an hour long and I was partnered extremely uncomfortably with a briefcase. Because even though I had actually sat down, and he had acknowledged my presence there, he still thought his bag was more entitled to a seat than me.
Do we actually do this?
“Nobody tells an actor, ‘you’re playing a strong-minded man.’ We assume that men are strong-minded. A strong-minded woman is a different animal.”―
Meryl Streep, on being told that she often plays “strong-minded women.”
Let’s talk about libraries. Libraries! “Oh, hello, are you a person? Great, you’ve met our qualifications. Please enjoy unlimited borrowing of any number of any books. Do we not have the book you seek? Let us know and we will buy it so that you can read it. You will owe us nothing. Stay as long as you want.” Libraries are like pleasant, real-life morphine dreams.
Young women are often the targets of aggression when they’re out in bars, but the problem isn’t that guys are too drunk to know better.
Instead, men are preying on women who have had too much to drink.
When researchers at the University of Toronto and the University of Washington observed young people’s behavior in bars, they found that the man’s aggressiveness didn’t match his level of intoxication. There was no relationship.
Instead, men targeted women who were intoxicated.
The researchers hired and trained 140 young adults to go into bars in the Toronto area and note every incident of aggression they saw. They found that 25 percent of all incidents involved sexual aggression. And 90 percent of the victims of sexual aggression were women being harassed by men.
Almost all of the aggression was physical, with about two-thirds of the aggressors physically touching women without consent. About 17 percent threatened contact. And 9 percent verbally harassed their targets.
Men may perceive intoxicated women either as more amenable to advances or as easier targets who are less able to rebuff them because they don’t have their wits about them, the researchers say.
"There’s no reason that women should be touched against their will," says , the study’s lead researcher and a senior scientist at the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health at the University of Toronto. Women wouldn’t accept that kind of behavior at school or on the street, she notes, but it seems to get a pass in bars, she tells Shots.
The study was online Monday in Alcoholism: Clinical & Experimental Research.
The researchers also wanted to look into whether unwanted sexual advances were intentional or just a matter of misperception. This study points to the former, Graham says.
"If you walk through a bar and grab a woman’s breasts and then disappear into the crowd, that’s probably not a misunderstanding," she says. "You don’t actually think that she wants you to do that."
The fact that men were more likely to take advantage of intoxicated women shows that most of these incidents aren’t well-intentioned, Graham says.
This isn’t really something surprising, but it’s always good to have more back up about it. But yeah, men aren’t doing this by accident. The study said 66% of the sexual aggression was physical, so MOST of it has a physical component, which is pretty scary. And guys are told to do this too. “Pick up artist” sites and texts tell guys to touch women without our permission because it creates trust (what it really does, and I think they know, is make us uncomfortable and disturb us, which is the point because they don’t want to seduce us as much as find a way to push past our barriers), and to push us and try to get us drunk.
"Men may perceive intoxicated women either as more amenable to advances or as easier targets who are less able to rebuff them because they don’t have their wits about them, the researchers say."
As summer-of-supervillainy said when she saw this, those are effectively the same thing the way these guys target women. They’re not trying to have us do something we want, they’re trying to make us do something we don’t want. Whether it’s by pushing us, coercing us, forcing us, getting us drunk, etc, it’s still about them knowing we don’t want this, and they’re trying to find a way to get us to do it anyway.
This is what I keep saying. To guys who do stuff like this (and there’s a lot of them), sexual assault is a legal technicality. Their only concern about assaulting women is that they don’t want to go to jail, not about US. If we get hurt but they don’t go to jail, they’ll do it. You can see this by how they go “what if she’s just a little drunk?” or “what if she didn’t say no?” or etc… it’s all about the TECHNICALITY. They KNOW the woman is putting up resistance and they don’t care.
I often ask guys I argue with about this who go “we know they want it”, why they don’t wait until she’s sober and ask her then? Since you know they want you, then you can ask when she’s sober and you avoid all the “grey area” you’re whining about in the first place. And their response is always trying to find excuses for why they can’t wait until she’s sober, or sometimes they outright just admit “because she’d say no.” SO YOU KNOW SHE DOESN’T WANT TO SLEEP WITH YOU. You know that you’re trying to take advantage of her in a weakened, vulnerable state. You just don’t really care about whether you hurt her, or scar her, or traumatize her. You just care about your OWN desires, and what YOU want. Rape is a technical legal thing to them. They don’t care if they cause the same trauma as legal rape as long as legally it’s not rape.
As Ami says, the findings are the un-surprise of the century, but it’s always good to have those things backed on paper, considering rape apologists are so bound on technicalities. Bolding mine.
OMG WHAT DID I DO!?
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I LEARNED A THING
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JJ Feild behind the scenes of Third Star